In The Dead Of Night
by Bloodlustful
Summary: Sequel to "Fun Time With George". After his first day of endless deriding, George happens across Newman, who makes further fun of him, only for George to attack him. What will this cause? And what will it mean? Recommended if you hate Newman, whether you also hate George or not. Rated T for blood, some language and for being more grisly and dark than most "Seinfeld" fanfics.


Greetings, all! I'm back with a fanfic of Seinfeld which is a sequel to "Fun Time With George", and, while it is more dark and action packed than funny(to put it very lightly), it is nevertheless intended to please and be a great story, just like its predecessor.

Out of the few characters in "Seinfeld" who are worse than George Costanza, which is saying a lot, who is the worst one of them all?

That's right! You guessed it!

 _ **NEWMAN!**_

So in this story, I have it so that, in the middle of the night that follows the first day of George's getting made into a laughingstock for everyone else to jeer and make fun of, thanks to how his so-called friends ruined his life by revealing everything they did to him during that picnic the other day, he comes across Newman, who quickly proceeds to make fun of him worse than all of the others, and that's quite a statement, but this leads to George getting into a big fight with him.

What will happen during said fight and what will that lead to, one would wonder?

You'll know soon enough. Read on!

Things To Note:

This will please you on a vast as hell scale of magnitude if you hate Newman's blubbery guts in the worst way, and this is also to be fair about how George might be horrible beyond words, but Newman is even worse than he is, which, again, is saying something, plus it will be the perfect irony of what the hell results from George's now endless ordeal at the hands of his friends(of course, this story is also great to read if you hate George, much like "Fun Time With George" is, but it's an even better read if you wholeheartedly despise Newman).

As you can tell, I, of course, hate Newman, but all the more reason for me to write this, you know? Especially since he rats out Jerry at one point for making out during "Schindler's List", saying "A greater offense I cannot recall!", even though neither Jerry nor his girlfriend can help it after being apart for so long and Newman is someone who tries to catch and kill innocent dogs, among a whole lot of other nasty things he does, to Jerry or otherwise.

I own none of the characters. They all belong to Seinfeld.

In The Dead Of Night

George Costanza had truly had one hell of a piss-poor day following when his three former friends made a mockery out of him and his life alike by playing nasty tricks on him the day before and having a camera set up outside so that everyone in New York City would see said tricks and make fun of him.

And make fun of him they did, with George going through one jeer, taunt, ridicule, zinger, insult, mock and all else like those things after the other by New Yorker after New Yorker, as well as anyone and everyone visiting NYC who happened across him after learning of what Jerry Seinfeld, Elaine Benes and Cosmo Kramer had done to him and seeing it on the video camera.

By nighttime, George was essentially going to blow up like an H-Bomb if one more speck of something disrespectful was sent his way/thrown in his direction.

Just as he was going back home to his apartment, where he'd make sure to take as much refuge in as possible before he inevitably had to go out and be laughed at and disrespected again, who should he happen across but Newman?

"Well, hello there, Costanza!" said Newman deridingly. "Still here to be a nice, big laugh riot, are you?"

"NEWMAN!" exploded George, and Newman replied: "Glad you recognize my voice, the way it must be so hard for you to do so after having so many laugh at and make a source of mocking fun out of you. Tell me, can I be the one to give one last insult barrage before you finally get back to your apartment to hide from everyone as much as possible?"

That did it. A fuse blew in George, who subsequently yelled: " **OKAY, THAT DOES IT! NOW GEORGE IS GETTING UPSET, AND GEORGE JUST WENT FROM THAT TO FUCKING ENRAGED IN A HEARTBEAT!"** and ran right up to a surprised Newman.

Immediately punching every square inch of Newman's fat, ugly, disgusting frame that he could, George wasn't going to stop unless he ran out of anger energy, which it seemed like he would never do.

Of course, Newman fought back and managed to get in some hits on George, but George got in substantially more blows and, soon enough, Newman, who was by now going: "AAAARRRRGGHHHH! E-RAAAAAAAAAAA!" was pushed back into the currently busy nighttime streets, with George failing to notice that but also indifferent about it either way.

The next one of George's punches sent Newman stumbling back swiftly and clumsily into the streets, and suddenly two cars coming from opposite directions, both of which were going very speedily at this time, as it just so happened, almost hit Newman, and only didn't because of how he saw them just in time to go backwards as fast as he could.

And even so, he was not only moving in a clumsy, ungainly, graceless and awkward manner while he did this, but he was ironically doing so speedily as hell because of how scared he was at almost getting nailed and how hard and fast his heart was thumping because of it.

As everyone, including George and the drivers of the two cars, who'd slammed on their brakes just in time beforehand so that they didn't crash into each other or anyone else any more than they had Newman, saw, to their surprise, how Newman was unable to stop going backwards and was also going towards the video camera that had been set up by Jerry, Elaine and Kramer previously on the part of the building he was approaching, it turned out that Newman would lose his life as he was subject to an unbelievably massive quintuple whammy.

First, there was the impact with which he hit the part of the wall that was under where the video camera was, which, thanks to how obese Newman was and how hard his corpulent body hit it, wasn't just a high impact, it was enough of one so that the video camera got dislodged.

Second, there was how, as it fell down, Newman fell over, tripping over his own suddenly crossed legs after trying to get himself back into a standing still position once he pushed himself away from the wall.

Third, it just so happened that Newman's fat ass, both figuratively and literally, fell onto the video camera just as it hit the ground, which resulted in various pieces of glass flying all over the place, but mainly onto and into him, the latter case consisting of a shard of glass flying down his throat and a bigger piece of glass going right on up the asshole that belonged to the asshole.

Fourth, as he was being lacerated by this glass, he was electrocuted by what electric conduct came the fuck out of the video camera and it fried him from the inside out despite how he didn't turn to ash and, instead, was a par-broiled corpse with smoke coming off of it.

Fifth, it wasn't just the electricity and glass which saw him dead, it was also how he had a horrible heart attack of the eleven out of ten kind, and this all would have been the case even if he hadn't been electrocuted, given what had taken place beforehand and what being cut like this would do when added onto that, not to mention that how portly and unhealthy because of being so overweight as he was would contribute to that heart attack striking as easily as it did.

Needless to say, Newman was dead before he was lying on his side on the ground(in fact, he didn't even have time to scream before his sorry-ass, wretched-ass life was over), and as everyone looked upon him in shock, George exclaimed: "Well, what do you know? I won the fight and rid the world of one lousy-ass Newman! And as you all are so astounded and can't possibly bring yourselves to pick on me so mercilessly right now, I am going to capitalize on the sudden chance I've now got to do the only possible thing that can allow me to escape being further ridiculed and avoid being arrested for manslaughter!"

George promptly ran over and grabbed the biggest piece of the broken glass in front of him that he could find, though there might have been bigger ones under Newman's oversized corpse, but that was immaterial to him, because he'd gotten exactly what the hell kind of one he needed.

Unzipping his pants and pulling them down, he spoke his last words: "Goodbye, cruel world! Everyone let it be known what the hell fucking happens when you do the worst damn things to the most unwise choices of people, and that, for all the awful things I am and/or that can be said about me, the last thing that I ever did was one of the best gifts to any and all that exist on this planet imaginable!"

He followed this up by stabbing himself in the femoral artery on his left thigh, followed by doing the same thing to the femoral artery in his right one and finally, just to be sure, stabbing himself in the neck with the large piece of glass.

Pulling it out after that, he fell over and hit the ground, never to get up again, and it was one hell of a scary, bloody, traumatic, off-putting, nasty and terrifying night for everyone, with George lying in a tremendous puddle of his own blood, which gushed out for a time after he'd offed himself, and Newman still letting off smoke as his skeleton was almost visible through his nicely fried frame, even with how large he was.

The next day, Jerry, Elaine and Kramer would learn about this, and all three were, on the one hand, shocked, horrified and pale beyond description and would never have counted on something like this ever happening, nor did any of them want it to, but on the other hand, they were simultaneously overjoyed that, the fact that it had cost him his life notwithstanding, George had gotten rid of Newman, who was even worse than he was, which is saying shitloads of a lot, and done the world an enormous favor in so doing.

As such, when this, and how the people of the city realized that they shouldn't have taken their making fun of George as far as they did, given what it turned out to result in, plus the way that everybody was ironically elated beyond words that Newman had been gotten rid of, given what he'd been like and the way that he acted towards people and did some really rotten, lowlife kinds of things was showing itself alongside that, it would only be fair that a funeral would be held for George.

Indeed, Jerry, Elaine and Kramer quickly got plans ready for one, as did the rest of New York City, while Newman was, during the time that funeral was being set up, simply given a cremation(since he was more hated than George even after Jerry, Elaine and Kramer had done their thing and what it led to), and after George was given commendation and having everything good that there was to say about him(there wasn't a whole lot, but there were a few things of that nature to be said)be spoken of, in addition to all else that happened in his funeral(which included that George's parents, despite accepting that Jerry, Elaine and Kramer would attend it along with them and all the others who did, were steamed as hell at the three of them thanks to how they played a major role in what led to the death of their son and blatantly expressed how much they hated and wished death on all three of them after the funeral was over), what occurred next was as follows.

First, there's the way that, even though Jerry, Elaine and Kramer were really saddened and sorry for what they'd done briefly, especially since they didn't mean to make it any worse than it had been made to be before, they quickly recovered, true to form, and went on with their lives, becoming back to normal despite how they now knew that they had to keep a bit more of an eye out from now on due to how George's parents wanting them dead, neither of the Costanza seniors caring that it was not their intention for their son to meet his end when they turned him into a teasing target.

And then there is the way that, later on, Jerry cunningly lied to the one who'd cremated Newman and put his ashes in a box upon deciding to pay him a visit, saying to him: "Since Newman's gone now, I've decided I want to let bygones be bygones and reconcile with him posthumously. We had a big-ass feud during the time he was alive, and I want to put that behind us now that he's dead. It's only fair, and it just wouldn't be right not to do that."

The man who'd given Newman the cremation, not knowing that Jerry was lying through his teeth when he said what he did, told him: "Well, if you, who's feuded with Newman and thus has to have hated him more than most despite how so many others dislike him badly, want to do as much as you can to patch things up and make your peace with him, then it's clear that it should be allowed. Here is the box containing his ashes."

He handed it over to Jerry, and after Jerry said: "My thanks, sir." and walked away with it, he listened to make sure that no one was where he was or anywhere near that area to see or hear him, and then walked into a bathroom stall, closing the door, locking it, lifting everything there was to lift as far as the toilet seat was concerned, opening the box and dumping Newman's ashes into the water.

Immediately thereafter, he said firmly under his breath: "Hello, _Newman._ Goodbye, _Newman._ " and flushed the toilet, watching delightedly as Newman's ashes disappeared into the water and went down, just as Newman's soul had previously gone down to hell, which is where the, well, hell, George's soul had also gone, the fact that his final deed in life was a good one notwithstanding, but Newman was getting far worse punishment than George, so it all evened out, especially since, whenever there was a chance, Satan would allow George to use Newman as his punching bag in any which way he wanted, punches or otherwise.

Anyway, Jerry, after a time, walked back to where the man who'd cremated Newman was, and handed the box, which he of course made sure to close after using wet toilet paper to wipe up any tiny little trace of Newman's ashes that might have still been present, flushing it down and using dry toilet paper to fill up the box so that it had just as much mass, along with using it to get rid of any wetness on the box, if there was any, back to that man.

"Thank you for allowing me to give my apologies to him and show how sorry I am for what kind of foes we were before." Jerry lied like a rug with such smooth and most excellent mendacity. "Time for me to go now."

The man nodded, and said: "You're quite welcome. Have a good day." "You, too." Jerry told him, and he was out of there just moments later, and he waited until he was back in his apartment and specifically in his bedroom, making sure all of its windows were shut and so were the ones outside of that bedroom, plus that all doors in his apartment were locked, too, to throw a huge, one-many party where he howled with joy and celebrated like no one's business about the fact that Newman was gone forever and finally out of his life, with him having given him a nice, big "FUCK YOU!" as the last contact he ever had with him in any way whatsoever.

In the future, George's grave, where his body and the coffin that contained it was put when it was taken into the center of the cemetery, would be visited by both of George's parents, as well as Jerry, Elaine and Kramer, and although the latter three had to be on the watch for when, despite their not forbidding the three to see George's tombstone along with them, the senior Costanzas would try to make an attempt on their lives if they saw a chance to try and kill them without being caught after they left the graveyard, all three invariably managed to escape death.

Furthermore, despite missing George, they were still not the least bit changed even after all that time, since they never would be, and that Newman was out of their lives after having had his come to an end magnified the cemented status of that already concreted fact.

All the same, though, the world had, if nothing else, still become a better place to at least some kind of extent, since the godawful Newman was dead and so was the not quite as bad, but still terrible, George, and that was better than if there was no improvement at all.

As a matter of fact, as it would turn out, things would be going uphill from here for not only Jerry, Elaine and Kramer, but also for the bulk of the world, albeit little by little on all four counts.

THE END

So, did you guys like it? Wasn't it wonderful to see that fat, nasty, hypocritical, rotten bastard son of a bitch Newman get his in a permanent way? And for, in the process, the loathsome George who, ironically, saw to that also perish? Plus, I do hope you enjoyed how I made this story nice and dark and graphic and intense, despite how it's a fanfic of a comedy show. Ratings and reviews, please!


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